One year ago today, Preston and I were lying next to one another on a pullout chair in the NICU at Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh. He was cradling Evelyn’s tiny 6 pound body on his broad chest when she took her last breath, ushering her into eternity. We held her for a long time afterwards, just staring, holding her, desperately soaking in every touch, trying to sear her precious image into our minds. Because our time with her was done on this side of heaven. And it was hard to say goodbye.
For many reasons, today is a day of great sadness in our family. We miss our daughter. Oh, how we miss her. Tears are still shed. Longings are left unfulfilled. Questions remain.
But with the most tender of mercies, the Lord has been drawing my attention to another little baby today. A tiny child who lay in a manger two thousand years ago, making his grand, humble entrance into our world, bringing with him the very presence of God, full of light and love. He came to serve, love, redeem, forgive, rescue, and restore. It was a day of good news for all the people.
Throughout our journey over the past 12 months, people have often commented on our strength and inspiration in the face of tragedy. But truly, we must defer all credit where credit is due.
Scripture says in 2 Corinthians 4:7-11, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.“
We are nothing more than jars of clay. Merely common vessels.
But through faith, we have been filled with a priceless treasure. His name is Jesus. And his power is our very real source of strength and hope. Without him, we would be a mess.
It’s my most earnest prayer today, on the anniversary of Evelyn’s death, that people would ultimately be drawn to Jesus.
One of my recent favorite passages in scripture was the time Jesus called Philip and Nathanael to be his disciples. It goes like this (John 1:43-51):
The next day Jesus decided to leave for Galilee. Finding Philip, he said to him, “Follow me.”
Philip, like Andrew and Peter, was from the town of Bethsaida. Philip found Nathanael and told him, “We have found the one Moses wrote about in the Law, and about whom the prophets also wrote—Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.”
“Nazareth! Can anything good come from there?” Nathanael asked.
“Come and see,” said Philip.
When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, “Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.”
“How do you know me?” Nathanael asked.
Jesus answered, “I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you.”
Then Nathanael declared, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the king of Israel.”
Jesus said, “You believe because I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You will see greater things than that.” He then added, “Very truly I tell you, you will see ‘heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending on’ the Son of Man.”
Right now I feel like Philip. Trying to tell everyone that I’ve found Jesus. He’s the promised savior who came into the world, died, rose again, and lives in those who believe. But you must come and see for yourself. And the amazing thing is, Jesus already sees you and knows you. He found you first.
Would you come to him?
(P.S. I’ve been listening to this song, weeping, praising Jesus, all while writing this post. Be blessed…)