He Calls Me Mama

It was one year ago today that my husband and I walked into a courtroom, two little boys in tow. Our journey of waiting was coming to a close as our youngest son was officially declared our heir. His adoption was final.

And now, this little boy calls me “Mama”.

It hit me like an emotional ton of bricks the other night when I tip-toed into his room to steal one last loving glance before I went to bed. As I stood there admiring his chubby cheeks, wispy blonde hair, wide open mouth, and sprawled out arms, my heart overflowed at the sight of my precious child.

Without a doubt, I love all of my children the same. There’s absolutely no varying ounce that exists among them. But because of adoption, it adds a different facet of love as I consider his birth mom.

She nurtured him in her womb for nine months and held him in her arms for three short days. Sawyer knows what her heart sounds like from the inside – a connection I will never share with him. She gave him life. And she gave him the future she wanted for him when she made the decision to place him in our family.

Now my husband and I have the unbelievable privilege of nurturing the life that she brought into the world. We are the ones who hold him, kiss him, wipe away his tears, listen to his giggles, calm his tantrums, pick out his clothes, read books to him, and pray with him.

Sometimes I can hardly believe it that he calls me “Mama”.

And as I go about these beautifully chaotic days of raising three small boys, there are unexpected moments that cause me to pause and consider the holy weight of adoption.

When I see the curl at the nape of his neck.
When I look into his big blue eyes.
When he flashes a huge grin.
When he covers his face with markers.
When he cries with a strawberry stuck on his head.

 

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These are the treasures we get to enjoy every day, all because God brought this little boy into the world and connected the life of his first family with his forever family.

Happy Family Day to our sweet Sawyer.

We all love you.